Equip baldness (If a creature is bald in its art, it has baldness.)

Companion - If the deck's owner is bald

Equipped creature gets +0+0 and can't be blocked by creatures without baldness. If the owner of that creature is bald, they can block the equipped creature regardless of their creature's baldy-bald status.

If an opponent shaves their head while You're Bald... is on the battlefield, they win the game. (Do it.)