: Flash
As long as Rick entered the battlefield this turn, you may activate his loyalty abilities any time you could cast an instant.
+1: Target creature has Indestructable until end of turn.
-2: Counter target spell, It's caster gains 2 life.
Enchant Creature
Enchanted creature has -1/-1.
At the end of your turn, the enchanted creature Circlejerks (Put a +1/+1 counter on it for each Horny counter on it).
At the begin of your upkeep, if Squidward has five or more Horny counters, exile it, than return to the battlefield transformed under your control.
Trample, Haste, Ward — Put three Horny counters on yourself.
Whenever Neckbeard takes/deals combat damage, put a Horny counter on it and it's controller.
Destroy all Bitches.
They were never real.
Gain 1 life for each Horny counter on you or permanents you control. Creatures you control Circlejerk (Put a +1/+1 counter on them for each Horny counter on them).
Whenever Coomer Circlejerks, put a +1/+1 counter on it.
Choose one;
• Deal 2 damage to any target.
• Bonk target player or planeswalker. (Deal 1 damage to it for each Horny counter on it).
• Destroy target artifact.
Pure (This creature cannot have Horny counters placed on it)
When a creature with a Horny counter on it attacks, Capybara gets Bushido 3 until end of turn.
Get 2 Bitches. (Create 2 green and white 1/1 Human Citizen creature tokens. They have "Whenever a creature you control is Bonked, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.")
Trample, Pure (Horny counters cannot be placed on this permanent)
Whenever Gigachad deals combat damage to a player, that player and all creatures and planeswalkers they control get Bonked (Deal 1 damage to them for each Horny counter on them).
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, you may Bonk target creature, player, or planeswalker (Deal 1 damage to it for each Horny counter on it).
Search your library for a Forest or Plains card and put it into your hand.
Counter up to one target spell or ability that put one or more Horny counters on a permanent or player and/or would cause a creature to Circlejerk.
Put a Horny counter on each permanent and each player.
Get X Bitches. (Create X green and white 1/1 Human Citizen creature tokens. They have "Whenever a creature you control is Bonked, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.")
Haste, Vigilance
Bitches you control get +1/+1 for each Horny counter on Austin Powers.
{3}{T}; Put a Horny counter on Austin Powers, or move all Horny counters from target permanent or player to Austin Powers.
When Belle Delphine enters the battlefield, you may put up to two Horny counters split as you choose among permanents and players.
Creatures you control with Horny Counters on them have Islandwalk.
{2}{T}; target player loses X life, where X is the number of Horny counters on them and/or permanents they control. Then they draw that many cards.
Haste
Whenever Jimmyhere enters the battlefield or attacks, get 1 Bitches. (Create 1 green and white 1/1 Human Citizen creature token. It has "Whenever a creature you control is Bonked, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.")
Flying
You may have Mari Setogaya enter the battlefield as a copy of another creature, except it is a Vampire Devil Shapeshifter in addition to it's other types, it's name is Mari Setogaya, it has Flying, it is legendary, and it has the following ability; "If Mari Setogaya has a horny counter on it, it has {t}; return this to it's owner's hand."
Get 1 Bitches. (Create 1 green and white 1/1 Human Citizen creature token. It has "Whenever a creature you control is Bonked, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.")
Deal X damage to target creature or planeswalker, where X is the number of Bitches you control.
Whenever creature with no Horny counters on it would be Bonked, put a +1/+1 counter on it instead.
Whenever a creature would gain a Horny counter or Circlejerk, Bonk it instead,
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control, you gain 1 life.
Whenever a Ninja or Rogue you control attacks, put a Horny counter on it, than draw a card for each Ninja or Rogue you control with one or more Horny counters on them.
Whenever a Samurai or Knight you control attacks, put a Horny counter on it, than deal 1 damage to any target for each Samurai or Knight you control with one or more Horny counters on them.
Whenever one or more creatures you control attack, put a Horny counter on any target, than Proliferate.
Skulk
Whenever Reddit User deals combat damage to a player, creatures you control Circlejerk (Put a +1/+1 counter on them for each Horny counter on them).
