June MCC Round 1 - Otherworldly Outlaw

[bravelion83]

(This month's banner is my own elaboration on the art of the card Hell to pay by Liiga Smilshkalne)


June MCC Round 1

Otherworldly Outlaw

As is tradition by now, this month we will celebrate the latest premier set, in this case Outlaws of Thunder Junction, by exploring its mechanics and themes, as usual in this kind of MCC months.


First questions first. Who are you, outlaw? There will be time later for why you're here...


Main Challenge - Design an outlaw creature card that has a multicolored color identity, and that has the intended flavor below. This is your avatar for the month, and all future rounds will refer to it in different ways.

INTENDED FLAVOR: a mysterious outlaw from another plane with unknown motives that has come to Thunder Junction via omenpaths. It can be legendary, but that's not a requirement.

Note: the intended flavor IS part of the Main Challenge and how well your submission represents it WILL be judged in the Main Challenge section of the rubric. Judges CAN deduct points there if they feel the required flavor isn't represented well enough on your card. You CANNOT use any design notes, etc... to explain your card's flavor, only the flavor elements of the card. There is NO exception to the "no extra content" rule this month.
This "intended flavor" part will be there in all rounds this month as a part of the Main Challenge, and it's an example of a Main Challenge that isn't binary (yes/no), so judges CAN and WILL use the whole spectrum of points in the Main Challenge section of the rubric.

Subchallenge 1 - Your card can commit a crime via one or more of its abilities. You're an outlaw after all... and outlaws commit crimes! Otherwise they wouldn't be outlaws, would they?

Subchallenge 2 - Your card has a color identity that's exactly two colors.

Clarifications (last updated on June 3rd, half past midnight CET - added Raptorchan's and Lorn Asbord Schutta's questions from the discussion thread

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Main Challenge

• There are four requirements that your card has to meet at the same time:
- It has the "creature" card type printed on its type line.
- It has at least one of the five subtypes included in the "outlaw" batch printed on its type line (Assassin, Mercenary, Pirate, Rogue, Warlock).
- It has a multicolored color identity (it's color identity, so colored mana symbols in rules text ARE included in it).
- It has the "intended flavor" written right after the Main Challenge text. This requirement will be there every round this month, though what the intended flavor is will change of course.

• How well your card matches the intended flavor will be judged in the Main Challenge section of the rubric, as the intended flavor is part of the Main Challenge. The flavor itself (regardless of how well it matches the intended flavor) will be judged in the Flavor section instead, just as usual.

• In addition to the required ones, your card can have any supertypes, card types, and subtypes.

• Your card CAN have more than one subtypes from the "outlaw" batch. If you want to make an (insert race here) Mercenary Warlock, go ahead. If you find a way to make all five fit in the type line, then even more so: go ahead!

• Beware of the details! All following rounds will refer to your outlaw persona that you're designing here each in its own way, though they will not refer to each other, only to what you're making in this round. They all will point back here, but not towards each other.

• From the discussion thread:

@bravelion83: you said that outlaw for the round is "mysterious", but can it be a known legendary creature from another plane since most OTJ outlaws are legends we know?

Yes, in fact that was exactly the intent, that they come from a known plane other than Thunder Junction itself. You can make up a new plane specifically for this purpose or use one of your own that you already have (for example I could use one of my characters from Vukanat and say they ended up on Thunder Junction), but using an already known plane is probably the best way, and the easiest for sure, to meet the Main Challenge. The word "mysterious" refers to the things we know about them on Thunder Junction, the less we know about why they came to Thunder Junction and what they are doing or looking for here the better it is (and you can probably easily guess why...). That's what should be unknown, or anyway not clear just from your card. As I said in the intro, there will be time for that later...

@bravelion83, just to make sure, we can already shorten to simply "enters", instead of "enters the battlefield"?

Both are allowed until Bloomburrow's prerelease according to the guidelines, so yes, you can already use the shorter templating, but you won't be punished for still using the longer current one. It's only after Bloomburrow's prerelease weekend is over (aka after Sunday, July 28) that you will be expected to use the new template and you will be penalized for using the old one. Until then, both can be used in the MCC.

Guidelines document, section 6.2, page 15, under "Quality", added part in italics for clarity

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If changes to templating are shown during the previews of a real set, and unless otherwise specified by the host, you can use both templating styles, old and new, until that set's Prerelease, that is until we can play with the real physical cards. Starting with that set's Prerelease, only the new templating will be accepted, and if you still use the old one after that, you will suffer point deductions here (that is, in the Quality section of the rubric).

Adding this to the clarifications in the round thread right now.

Subchallenge 1

• All this requires is that your card has one or more abilities that count as you "committing a crime" as defined in the CR.


Subchallenge 2

• Again, this is color identity, not just ordinary color, so colored mana symbols in rules text DO count.

• If your card's color identity is colorless, monocolored, or three or more colors, this Subchallenge is failed. Notice the word "exactly". It has to be two colors, no more and no less.



If you have any more questions, feel free to post them in the MCC discussion thread.

You can also check out the MCC Guidelines and FAQ if you have the will and time. You can find it in a low size PDF version attached to this post and you can also find the link to the original higher size PDF in my signature. They are the same document, I just had to compress it more to be able to put it here as an attachment as the original file, the one linked in my signature, is too large to be attached here. Among the many things you can find there are a detailed explanation of the rubric (section 6.2) and the recommended card formatting (section 4) that you should use to format your text cards. Expect deductions in Quality otherwise.


DEADLINES

Design deadline: Saturday, March 8th 2024 at 23:59 Eastern Time

Judging deadline: Tuesday, March 11th 2024 at 23:59 Eastern Time


Eventual time extensions required WILL eat time from the next round to realign with the calendar, so please ask them only if you really need them. This is for both players and judges. As a reminder, here is the calendar:

June MCC calendar

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You can also see the judge signup thread for more info about this month's MCC.


RUBRIC

MCC Rubric

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The MCC Rubric is given below, in an easily "copy and pasted" form. (Courtesy of Rithaniel.)

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Code: Select all

[b]Design[/b]
[b](X/3) Appeal[/b] - Do the different player psychographics (Timmy/Johhny/Spike) have a use for the card?
[b](X/3) Elegance[/b] - Is the card easily understandable at a glance? Do all the flavor and mechanics combined as a whole make sense?
 
[b]Development[/b]
[b](X/3) Viability[/b] - How well does the card fit into the color wheel? Does it break or bend the rules of the game? Is it the appropriate rarity?
[b](X/3) Balance[/b] - Does the card have a power level appropriate for contemporary constructed/limited environments without breaking them? Does it play well in casual and multiplayer formats? Does it create or fit into a deck/archetype? Does it create an oppressive environment?
 
[b]Creativity[/b]
[b](X/3) Uniqueness[/b] - Has a card like this ever been printed before? Does it use new mechanics, ideas, or design space? Does it combine old ideas in a new way? Overall, does it feel "fresh"?
[b](X/3) Flavor[/b] - Does the name seem realistic for a card? Does the flavor text sound professional? Do all the flavor elements synch together to please Vorthos players?
 
[b]Polish[/b]
[b](X/3) Quality[/b] - Points deducted for incorrect spelling, grammar, and templating.
[b](X/2) Main Challenge (*)[/b] - Was the main challenge satisfied? Was it approached in a unique or interesting way? Does the card fit the intent of the challenge?
[b](X/2) Subchallenges[/b] - One point awarded per satisfied subchallenge condition.
 
[b]Total: X/25[/b]
*An entry with 0 points here is subject to disqualification.

JUDGES

bravelion83
void_nothing

We might or might not need more judges. If you're interested, sign up in the judge signup thread.


PLAYERS

Everyone can enter this round. Just reply to this thread posting a card that meets the Main Challenge and any number (that includes zero) of Subchallenges. Future rounds will only be open to those who advance. Come join us!


A reminder to everyone: In the MCC, putting rarity on cards is mandatory! If you don't put a rarity on your card, expect huge deductions in both Viability AND Quality.


BRACKETS

Top 5 from each bracket advance to Round 2.

judge: bravelion83
7 Subject16
12 wizyard
15 marioguy3
3 Caspernicus
11 slimytrout
13 netn10
2 EsperCormorant
10 Komandon

judge: void_nothing
5 Lorn Asbord Schutta
4 Sagharri
6 Raptorchan
14 kwanyeegor-ii (EDIT - I misspelled your username and didn't realize it before, I'm sorry)
8 haywire
1 AnotherAlias
9 KB52665
16 MonoRedMage

[AnotherAlias]

Xharinoph, Maniacal Acolyte
Legendary Creature — Vampire Warlock (M)
Lifelink
Whenever you gain life during your turn, you lose that much life.
Whenever you lose life during your turn, add . Until end of turn, you don't lose this mana as steps and phases end.
"It's quite simple, don't you see? Or perhaps… Perhaps you cannot see. Fear not, you will, yes, you will, in due time… Yes…"
2/3

[EsperCormorant]

Pharika's Rustler
Creature — Human Assassin (R)
Deathtouch
Whenever Pharika's Rustler deals combat damage to a player, create a 1/1 green Snake creature token with deathtouch and "This creature can't block".
: Target Snake you control fights another target creature.
"Damn shame. The poor sod must've forgotten to check his boots."
2/2

[Caspernicus]

Naki, Treasure Scrounger 2b
Legendary Artifact Creature — Human Rogue (R)
When Naki, Treasure Scrounger enters the battlefield, target opponent creates two 0/1 colorless Construct artifact creature tokens with defender and "When this creature dies, each opponent creates a Treasure token."
r, Discard a card: Destroy target artifact. If an artifact destroyed this way causes a triggered ability of a permanent to trigger, that ability triggers an additional time.
2/4

[Sagharri]

Grimaz, Ever Hunger 1BG
Legendary Creature - Boar Rogue (R)
Devour artifact and/or creature 1 (As this enters the battlefield, you may sacrifice any number of artifacts and/or creatures. This creature enters the battlefield with that many +1/+1 counters on it.)
When Grimaz, Ever Hunger enters the battlefield, target opponent sacrifices a creature with lesser power.
"Gold or life? I'll take both."
2/2

[Lorn Asbord Schutta]

Alpot, Parademiurge
Legendary Creature — Human Warlock (R)
Whenever a sorcery spell leaves stack, Alpot, Parademiurge deals 2 damage to target opponent and you scry 2.
, Discard a card: Target creature spell becomes a sorcery spell. Change the text of that spell by replacing all instances of "When this creature enters" with "As this spell resolves". (Sorcery spell can't enter and leaves stack to its owner's graveyard immedietly after it resolves. Once that spell leaves stack, it becomes a creature card again.)
"I prefer you stay only as the Idea of you."
3/2

[Raptorchan]

Valentin, Clandestine Autopsist 1b
Legendary Creature — Vampire Warlock (R)
Whenever another creature dies, or a creature card leaves a graveyard, learn. This ability triggers only once each turn. (You may reveal a Lesson card you own from outside the game and put it into your hand, or discard a card to draw a card.)
1g, t: Exile target creature card from a graveyard. You gain life equal to that card's toughness.
2/2

[Subject16]

Venra, Ambitious Architect 1UB
Legendary Creature — Human Rogue Artificer (M)
Ward 2
Tap three untapped artifacts you control: Exile the top card of target opponent's library. You may play that card for as long as it remains exiled, and mana of any type can be spent to cast it.
Whenever you cast a spell you don't own, create a 3/3 Golem Rogue artifact creature token with "Whenever this creature becomes tapped, target opponent loses 1 life."
1/4

[haywire]

Passing Samaritan
Creature — Elf Cleric Rogue {U}
: Target opponent gains 3 life. Choose one —

• Draw a card.
• Create 2 1/1 green and white Elf Cleric creature tokens with lifelink.
• Destroy target artifact or enchantment.

Unfortunately, you need to survive this. It's not your time... yet.
1/3

[KB52665]

Disa, Goyf Wrangler 2rg
Legendary Creature — Human Scout Rogue (M)
When Disa enters, create a legendary Tarmogoyf token named Horst and put a bridle counter on it. (A creature with a bridle counter on it is a Mount in addition to its other types and has saddle 2 and "Whenever this creature attacks while saddled, it gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the greatest power among creatures that saddled it.")
Whenever Disa saddles a creature for the first time each turn, you may pay 1g. If you do, target opponent creates a tapped Tarmogoyf token that's goaded for the rest of the game.
3/2

Versions in special frames that could omit the reminder text would include the flavor text: "Never look a gift Horst in the mouth."

[Komandon]

Oriq Perfectionist 2B
Creature — Human Warlock (rare)
W, T: Discard a card: Return target spell to its owners hand. Note the name of that spell.
Whenever an opponent casts a spell with a name that is noted, they loses life equal to its mana value. That spell's name is no longer noted.
"Only casting spells at the ideal moment will do or else."
2/2

[slimytrout]

Cardo, Diamond Dealer 1BR
Legendary Creature — Devil Rogue (R)
When Cardo, Diamond Dealer enters, create a Treasure token.
1BR, Sacrifice an artifact: Cardo deals 1 damage to target opponent and each creature they control. Activate only as a sorcery.
"Back home, these'll scour the skin clean off your bones. Here there're chumps who'll pay for 'em!"
3/3

[wizyard]

The Stranger 1CU
Legendary Creature - Rogue Wizard (R)
When The Stranger enters, if W was spent to cast it, exile another target creature until The Stranger leaves.
The Stranger has protection from the exiled card's colors.
No one knew his name, his kin or his origins; the townsfolk simply knew that, for good or for ill, his arrival meant change.
2/1

[netn10]

That Man in Black Suit CC
Legendary Creature - Alien Rogue (Mythic)
T: Put an implant counter on target creature. (Implanted creatures are 3/4 green Aliens as long as you control a Mothership Vehicle.)
2UU, T: Gain control of target implanted Alien.
4GG, T: Create Eclipse of Thousand Suns, legendary colorless 9/12 artifact Mothership Vehicle with flying, trample, ward 6 and crew 6.
3/4

[bravelion83]

About 7 hours to the design deadline. I will certainly be sleeping at that time, I'll officially close the round as soon as I can after I wake up tomorrow. You all can still edit or change your submissions, and new ones are still welcome!

[kwanyeegor-ii]

Hlinde, Pact Duelist 2W
Legendary Creature - Kor Soldier Warlock (Rare)
Double strike
You may cast Angel and Demon spells as though they had flash.
At the beginning of the first strike combat damage step, if Hlinde is attacking or blocking, you may pay 3 life. When you do, add BBB and remove up to one target creature from combat. (You lose any of this mana that's unspent when the step ends.)
2/1

[marioguy3]

Daretti, Fresh Minted Singer
Legendary Creature — Goblin Rogue (Rare)
Haste
Whenever a permanent you own but don't control leaves the battlefield, create a Treasure token and draw a card.
, Destroy target permanent you both own and don't control. Create a Treasure token, then target opponent gains control of a Treasure token you control.
He plays his extraordinary talents with an unknown urgency and a sweet treat.
3/2

[MonoRedMage]

Oggyar Plunderer 3R
Creature - Ogre Pirate {M}
When Oggyar Plunderer enters the battlefield, create a tapped Blood token, a tapped Map token, and a tapped Treasure token.
Whenever an artifact with one or more subtypes enters the battlefield under your control, that artifact deals 1 damage to any target.
6U: Return Oggyar Plunderer to its owner's hand.
"Ganathog hungers for many things, all in their own way."
3/2

[bravelion83]

The round is closed with 16 entries.

These brackets have been determined by dice rolling, specifically by assigning a number to each submission in chronological order of posting then I kept rolling a d20 (a real d20, not a spindown) alternating between taking a player for me and one for void and rerolling on 17+ or on anumber that had already been taken, and I went on this way until I had two groups of size eight. These are the results, the brackets for this round, together with the number that was assigned to you in this process. AnotherAlias having the number 1 means they were the first to post, EsperCormorant was the second so they get the 2 and so on from the top to the bottom of the thread. This numbering is totally irrelevant for judging, I'm just including it for transparency and clarity on my part.


BRACKETS

Top 5 from each bracket advance to Round 2.

judge: bravelion83
7 Subject16
12 wizyard
15 marioguy3
3 Caspernicus
11 slimytrout
13 netn10
2 EsperCormorant
10 Komandon

judge: void_nothing
5 Lorn Asbord Schutta
4 Sagharri
6 Raptorchan
14 kwanyeegor-ii (EDIT - I misspelled your username and didn't realize it before, I'm sorry)
8 haywire
1 AnotherAlias
9 KB52665
16 MonoRedMage

Judging may begin right now. Judging deadline is Tuesday night. @void_nothing Please do your best to be on time, as will I of course.

[bravelion83]

Sorry for the delay, real life stuff. Let's see if I can still make it on time before the deadline.

EDIT 2 am CET - Yes, I did! Here you go!

Leo's Uniqueness table

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Source: The Lion's Lair #11 - Monthly (Card Contest) review

3: this is a card that does something never done before, not even on a single card.
2.5: this is a card that has an effect that is rarely seen in modern Magic, but not very often.
2: this is a card that does something we've already seen but in a new way or with a new twist.
1.5: this is a card that does something we've already seen but without big innovations.
1: this is a card that does something we've already seen multiple times and doesn't innovate it in any way.
0.5: this is a card that does something we see all the time in real sets, and maybe there is only some little detail we've not seen before.
0: this is a card that does something we see all the time in real sets and in a way we also see all the time in real sets.

Subject16

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Venra, Ambitious Architect 1UB
Legendary Creature — Human Rogue Artificer (M)
Ward 2
Tap three untapped artifacts you control: Exile the top card of target opponent's library. You may play that card for as long as it remains exiled, and mana of any type can be spent to cast it.
Whenever you cast a spell you don't own, create a 3/3 Golem Rogue artifact creature token with "Whenever this creature becomes tapped, target opponent loses 1 life."
1/4

Design
Appeal 2.5/3 - Timmy likes to steal his opponents' cards' but he hates to get his own cards stolen. Johnny is in love with this card. Spike is intrigued too.
Elegance 1.5/3 - Quite complex card, especially the last ability.
Development
Viability 3/3 - No problems with colors, rarity, or the rules.
Balance 1.5/3 - The activated ability having no mana component worries me a little, especially in formats that have artifact lands, even though it might be exactly what could make this playable in constructed. Probably fine in limited. An opponent stealing cards from your library never feels good in casual or formats where the focus is on fun more than winning (I'm thinking about Commander here obviously, even though I have troubles judging a card's playability in a format that I don't like and don't play myself). At least you can only target opponents one at a time in multiplayer.
Creativity
Uniqueness 1.5/3 - We've seen all of this before.
Flavor 2.5/3 - An artificer doing things with artifacts, that's a classic. The only remark I have is that an architect designs buildings, and I see nothing reflecting that in the mechanics. No room for flavor text, so that's correct.
Polish
Quality 1.5/3 - The color of the Golem token is not specified. If it's colorless, that should have been stated instead anyway. (-0.5)
Main Challenge 1.5/2 - No problems with the mandatory parts. I don't recognize the plane this is from, but that wouldn't be a problem, it could still be from a new yet unknown plane and that would be fine. The point here is that the artificer flavor could work on multiple planes: the Esper part of Alara, Kaladesh, the modern part of Kamigawa, or a new one. But the only reason to know this is not from Thunder Junction is that the plane was inhabited before omenpaths and that this is not a Cactusfolk, which I believe is the only race technically native to the plane, that gained sapience with the opening of the omenpaths but their cactus bodies were there as plants before that, but this can practically be said of everyone on the plane. The intended flavor was supposed to be a little stronger here.
Subchallenges 2/2 - You're forced to commit a crime with the activated ability. UB color identity.
TOTAL 17.5/25

wizyard

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The Stranger 1CU
Legendary Creature - Rogue Wizard (R)
When The Stranger enters, if W was spent to cast it, exile another target creature until The Stranger leaves.
The Stranger has protection from the exiled card's colors.
No one knew his name, his kin or his origins; the townsfolk simply knew that, for good or for ill, his arrival meant change.
2/1

Design
Appeal 2/3 - Not much for Timmy here. Johnny could probably find something to do here. Spike just loves this card. Removal plus protection, what more could she want?
Elegance 3/3 - No problems here.
Development
Viability 3/3 - No problems with colors, rarity, or the rules.
Balance 3/3 - Removal that's also hard to remove itself, that sounds like a very appealing recipe for competitive formats, even though the cost to do that is rather hard to pay and includes colorless mana, both things that require the set this card is supposed to be in to have a structure that supports this. Certainly playable in limited as long as you can pay the cost. I see no problems in casual or multiplayer.
Creativity
Uniqueness 2.5/3 - This would have been a 3 if we hadn't just seen cards with colorless mana and colored mana together in the same mana cost in MH3. For the rest it's just another Banishing Light variant.
Flavor 3/3 - Just perfect. Name, flavor text, and card concept come together to create something cohesive, as they always should.
Polish
Quality 2/3 - According to the guidelines, you can already use the new shortened "enters" templating that will be adopted starting with Bloomburrow, so no problems with that, I just wanted to point that out. Unfortunately, we explicitly know that "leaves the battlefield" is NOT going to be shortened, so that is indeed a Quality problem instead. (-0.5) Hyphen instead of em dash in the type line when there are direct opponents of yours in this same bracket who got it right instead. (-0.5)
Main Challenge 2/2 - No problems with the mandatory parts. This is like the Wanderer in WAR, we don't even know which plane they are from, and that flavor is loud and clear here.
Subchallenges 2/2 - Exile an opponent's creature and you've committed a crime. WU color identity.
TOTAL 22.5/25

marioguy3

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Daretti, Fresh Minted Singer
Legendary Creature — Goblin Rogue (Rare)
Haste
Whenever a permanent you own but don't control leaves the battlefield, create a Treasure token and draw a card.
, Destroy target permanent you both own and don't control. Create a Treasure token, then target opponent gains control of a Treasure token you control.
He plays his extraordinary talents with an unknown urgency and a sweet treat.
3/2

Design
Appeal 2/3 - Timmy likes removal but not on things he actually owns. He's also probably quite confused just from reading this card. To the contrary, Johnny is excited just by reading this card. The words "draw a card" are always appealing to Spike, even though you have to jump through some hoops to get there.
Elegance 1/3 - Separating ownership and control might be confusing to some less experienced players. The gameplay doesn't look like the easiest either.
Development
Viability 2.5/3 - Red can create Treasures for sure, but giving them to your opponents feels more blue than black to me even though I don't think that's a break. Rarity is correct. The rules have no problems with this card, it's just complex but that's not a problem in this area of the rubric.
Balance 1/3 - Very narrow card. I have a hard time picturing a constructed deck using this, much less a limited one. For the Treasure tokens, remember that the owner of a token is the player that creates it. Maybe some casual Johnnies might want to try this, and I feel like that's the best case scenario there unless I'm missing something, which could be the case. In multiplayer, maybe a group hug deck could use this? I honestly don't know.
Creativity
Uniqueness 3/3 - While other cards have played in the design space of "control but don't own", I can't remember any existing card doing it like this. This is a card with a very strong mechanical identity that will be very easy to remember. A memorable card.
Flavor 2.5/3 - I'm not a fan of this card name. To me, it feels like a hyphen is missing between "fresh" and "minted", and most of all I've never known Daretti as a singer. I've seen him stealing and burning enemy research notes in the story for Take the Crown if I remember correctly, and that does make sense with the mechanics. There is also a subtle detail that I like a lot: here Daretti, who is a disabled person on a wheelchair, is said to have "extraordinary talents" despite that. I really like the inclusive representation there.
Polish
Quality 2/3 - The colon that identifies an activated ability is missing right after the tap symbol. That's a -1 for functional mistake, that's not an activated ability technically as is.
Main Challenge 2/2 - No problems with the mandatory parts and we know Daretti is from Fiora. A desparked Daretti fits the intended flavor just fine.
Subchallenges 2/2 - Requiring you not to control the targeted permanent will cause you to commit a crime if its controller is an opponent of yours. BR color identity.
TOTAL 18/25

Caspernicus

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Naki, Treasure Scrounger 2b
Legendary Artifact Creature — Human Rogue (R)
When Naki, Treasure Scrounger enters the battlefield, target opponent creates two 0/1 colorless Construct artifact creature tokens with defender and "When this creature dies, each opponent creates a Treasure token."
r, Discard a card: Destroy target artifact. If an artifact destroyed this way causes a triggered ability of a permanent to trigger, that ability triggers an additional time.
2/4

Design
Appeal 2/3 - Timmy doesn't like giving things to his opponents, but he likes doubling triggers. Johnny always likes strange cards like this one. Spike doesn't mind the drawback but she doesn't see enough upside in exchange for that here.
Elegance 1/3 - High word count and complexity here. Comprehension complexity, strategic complexity, tracking complexity, they're all there.
Development
Viability 2/3 - Black is not really supposed to get Treasure tokens, or at the best it's tertiary in that. Red has no problems destroying artifacts but it doubling triggers is at least unusual. I don't think it's a break though. No problems with rarity or the rules.
Balance 1/3 - Yes, an opponent's opponent is you (the player who creates a Treasure when one of the Construct tokens dies), but I'm not sure a 2/4 for three mana and an activated ability that already has its own activation cost needs a drawback these days, the drawback being your opponent creating those tokens. The last ability also feels a bit narrow to me. I can maybe see this in limited, but probably not in constructed unless some broken combos arises, in which case bannings could be required and that' never a good thing. I don't think any of this changes in casual. Choosing which opponent creatures the tokens might be an interesting choice in multiplayer, one that could involve politics for players who like that. Some do, others don't.
Creativity
Uniqueness 2.5/3 - I can remember existing cards that use making your opponent create tokens as a drawback, but not too many and not very recent. The additional trigger ability in red also feels new.
Flavor 3/3 - No room for flavor text, so not a problem. The name works very well with the mechanics of the card.
Polish
Quality 3/3 - All good. The fact that the additional trigger clause at the end includes permanents controlled by other players is strange but there are no problems with that in the rules or in templating.
Main Challenge 1.5/2 - Same thing as Subject16. The mandatory parts are good and this is not a Cactusfolk so it can't be native to Thunder Junction, but there are also no flavor clues explicitly identifying that this is from another plane. It could be from any other plane, literally. The intended flavor was supposed to be a little stronger here.
Subchallenges 2/2 - Target an opponent to create the Constructs and you've committed a crime. BR color identity.
TOTAL 18/25

slimytrout

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Cardo, Diamond Dealer 1BR
Legendary Creature — Devil Rogue (R)
When Cardo, Diamond Dealer enters, create a Treasure token.
1BR, Sacrifice an artifact: Cardo deals 1 damage to target opponent and each creature they control. Activate only as a sorcery.
"Back home, these'll scour the skin clean off your bones. Here there're chumps who'll pay for 'em!"
3/3

Design
Appeal 2.5/3 - The only thing Timmy doesn't like is sacrificing his own things. Johnny and Spike are both fans of this card.
Elegance 3/3 - No problems here.
Development
Viability 3/3 - This could be monored but it's certainly not even a bend in Rakdos colors. No problems with rarity or the rules.
Balance 3/3 - Certainly playable in limited, and I can also see this in constructed decks rather easily. No problems in casual or multiplayer.
Creativity
Uniqueness 1/3 - I don't see nothing new here unfortunately.
Flavor 3/3 - Just perfect. Name, flavor text, and card concept come together to create something cohesive, as they always should.
Polish
Quality 3/3 - All good. According to the guidelines, you can already use the new shortened "enters" templating that will be adopted starting with Bloomburrow, so no problems with that, I just wanted to point that out.
Main Challenge 2/2 - No problems with the mandatory parts. This can't be from Thunder Junction itself, only Cactusfolk technically are, and it looks like it's from a new plane, which is not forbidden. What makes this a 2/2 is that "Back home" in the flavor text. That's the intended flavor of this round, in just two words. This would have definitely been at most a 1.5 without those two words.
Subchallenges 2/2 - Target an opponent to damage and you've committed a crime. BR color identity.
TOTAL 22.5/25

netn10

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That Man in Black Suit CC
Legendary Creature - Alien Rogue (Mythic)
T: Put an implant counter on target creature. (Implanted creatures are 3/4 green Aliens as long as you control a Mothership Vehicle.)
2UU, T: Gain control of target implanted Alien.
4GG, T: Create Eclipse of Thousand Suns, legendary colorless 9/12 artifact Mothership Vehicle with flying, trample, ward 6 and crew 6.
3/4

Design
Appeal 2/3 - Timmy loves the flavor but doesn't like his things getting stolen. Johnny can definitely do some of his tricks here. The thing Spike likes the most here is probably the rate: a 3/4 for just two mana if only you can pay the double colorless. She probably sees the rest of the card as too slow.
Elegance 2/3 - Mechanically, this card is complex. What holds it all together is mainly flavor. Nice mirror between ward 6 and crew 6 on the token, and that helps you a little bit here, but ward 6 might actually as well just be hexproof.
Development
Viability 2.5/3 - Green creating a flying token feels a little strange, but for the rest no problems with the color pie, rarity, or the rules.
Balance 2/3 - This card is clearly meant for constructed and not limited, which is the right thing to aim for at higher rarities though. I like the high rate here, double colorless is not easy to pay in sets that don't support it, which are the majority. I can see this as a casual favorite in flavor, though opponents stealing your creatures is never fun gameplay. I don't think any of this changes in multiplayer formats.
Creativity
Uniqueness 3/3 - Very memorable and original card for so many reasons that I can't even list them all here.
Flavor 3/3 - While I'm personally not a fan of this style of card names at all, that's just my own personal taste. From an objective point of view, it absolutely works here, as does all the rest of the flavor of this card.
Polish
Quality 0.5/3 - Hyphen instead of em dash in the type line when there are direct opponents of yours in this same bracket who got it right instead. (-0.5) The article "a" is missing right before "legendary colorless..." (-0.5) In that same part, in the definition of a token, the card type comes after the token's subtypes (-0.5) and also includes the word "token" which is missing here. (-0.5) It should have been: "Create Eclipse of Thousand Suns, a legendary colorless 9/12 Mothership Vehicle artifact token with flying..."
Main Challenge 2/2 - No problems with the mandatory parts. This can't be from Thunder Junction itself, only Cactusfolk technically are, and it looks like it's from a new plane, which is not forbidden. It's definitely mysterious, but what makes this a 2/2 is that while it comes from a new plane, it couldn't be just any plane. This creature's home plane is a very well-defined and specific one, this is not something that could just work on any plane. We don't know which plane this comes from, but I can already have a feel of that plane's flavor identity from this. To me, that feeling tells me this could be from the plane we will see in the "space opera" set next year. The fact that this creature's home plane has a clear identity is what makes this a 2/2 and not a 1.5 at most like other entries in this bracket are.
Subchallenges 2/2 - Implant an opponent's creature and then gain control of it with the second ability and you've committed a crime. GU color identity.
TOTAL 19/25

EsperCormorant

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Pharika's Rustler
Creature — Human Assassin (R)
Deathtouch
Whenever Pharika's Rustler deals combat damage to a player, create a 1/1 green Snake creature token with deathtouch and "This creature can't block".
: Target Snake you control fights another target creature.
"Damn shame. The poor sod must've forgotten to check his boots."
2/2

Design
Appeal 2.5/3 - Timmy definitely approves. Johnny could use the tokens in unintended ways. Spike always likes removal, though she doesn't like the lack of evasion that makes it harder for this to connect to create the Snake.
Elegance 2.5/3 - It might feel a bit strange to see deathtouch and "can't block" right next to each other, but you'll get it as soon as you understand the real purpose of this card, which actually isn't that hard to understand.
Development
Viability 3/3 - No problems with colors, rarity, or the rules.
Balance 3/3 - I really really like this card a lot mechanically. I think I could go on for days explaining ways in which this card can be very relevant in both limited and constructed. I think the rate too is spot-on here. I also like the last ability being fight and not bite, so that the Snake token dies after having killed an opponent's creature, which keeps card and tempo advantage under check and clears the board instead of gumming it up. No problems in casual or multiplayer. Very good job. I think this one and slimytrout's cards are easily the best in this area in this whole bracket.
Creativity
Uniqueness 1.5/3 - Nothing really new here.
Flavor 3/3 - No problems here. Name, flavor text, and card concept are all good.
Polish
Quality 3/3 - All good.
Main Challenge 2/2 - No problems with the mandatory parts and we know Pharika is from Theros. Perfect. Something like this was what the intended flavor was looking for.
Subchallenges 2/2 - Target an opponent's creature for this to fight and you've committed a crime. BG color identity.
TOTAL 22.5/25

Komandon

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Oriq Perfectionist 2B
Creature — Human Warlock (rare)
W, T: Discard a card: Return target spell to its owners hand. Note the name of that spell.
Whenever an opponent casts a spell with a name that is noted, they loses life equal to its mana value. That spell's name is no longer noted.
"Only casting spells at the ideal moment will do or else."
2/2

Design
Appeal 2.5/3 - Timmy likes the life loss, provided it actually happens. Johnny loves unusual cards like this one. Bouncing spells is the thing Spike likes the most here.
Elegance 1.5/3 - I can see less experienced players thinking that the first ability returns permanents to hand instead of spells. They'd go like: "Doesn't 'spell' mean 'anything but a land'? This creature of yours that's in play is not a land!" or something like that. The stack is not an easy concept to grasp. Noting things is also unusual these days, but at least what it does here is quite easy to understand.
Development
Viability 3/3 - Bouncing a spell is very interesting in white, I see it as a form of delay which white is absolutely allowed to do. The discard cost and the life loss makes sense in black. Rarity is obviously correct. While very unusual, I don't think the rules have any problems with this card.
Balance 2.5/3 - The logistics of the gameplay this card implies aren't the easiest, but I think they are still manageable without too much effort. I can see this card in limited, and probably constructed too, though I don't think it would be the most fun card in casual, exactly for those logistics I was talking about just a moment ago. The fact that the last ability takes into account all opponents and not just the one who cast the noted spell could be relevant in multiplayer.
Creativity
Uniqueness 3/3 - Returning spells to hand has already been done a few times but always in blue. The noting mechanic is also something we haven't seen in a premier set since the very early days of Magic, I believe.
Flavor 3/3 - No problems here. Name, flavor text, and card concept are all good and I like them a lot.
Polish
Quality 1.5/3 - There is a colon instead of a full stop/period right after "Discard a card". Probably in an earlier version of this card design discarding was a cost and it was later changed to be an effect instead, forgetting to change the old colon to a full stop/period. Only -0.5 as I understand that's probably just a typo. An apostrophe is missing in "owners". (-0.5) I've never seen a singular "they" with the singular third person "s". While singular in the gender-neutral meaning, it still doesn't require that "s". (-0.5)
Main Challenge 2/2 - No problems with the mandatory parts and we know the Oriq are from Arcavios. Perfect. Something like this was what the intended flavor was looking for.
Subchallenges 2/2 - Target an opponent's spell and you've committed a crime. WB color identity.
TOTAL 21/25

Results (TBD)

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EsperCormorant: 22.5
slimytrout: 22.5
wizyard: 22.5
Komandon: 21
netn10: 19
marioguy3: 18
Caspernicus: 18
Subject16: 17.5

[void_nothing]

Lorn Asbord Schutta

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Design
(2.5/3) Appeal - Txmmy finds this card possibly overly fiddly but they can certainly spellsling and deal a lot of damage with it. Jxnny is all over it. Spike sees a card with repeatable, powerful, and flexible effects even if it's quite unprecedented.
(1.5/3) Elegance - This is basically a card that would require its own CR update. That triggered ability, while using an unusual trigger, does nothing outside the rules; after all, it's just a zone change trigger. However, the activated ability has lots of odd implications even if it's pretty easy to tell it's just a variant of countering.

Development
(2.75/3) Viability - Definitely a rare. Colors of the main part of the card seem to be right (for the trigger effect). However, since the activated ability is more analogous to countering than destruction, I might even suggest that this card should cost 2BR with a {2/U}{2/U} activated ability.
(2.5/3) Balance - So that activated ability sort of says "Target creature spell's controller only gets that creature's ETB ability, if it has one." This is potentially dangerous as a repeatable ability. Obviously a lot less good against the likes of Titan of Industry, which makes it more balanced in a sense, but it sort of leaves a bad taste to incentivize ETB dudes even more after the last 15 years of so of that happening, lol.

Creativity
(3/3) Uniqueness - An absolutely unique card in multiple ways.
(3/3) Flavor - The flavor is a bit abstract but "Parademiurge" is a unique title that gives me the impression of a mage that manipulates creation itself, which is very cool.

Polish
(1.5/3) Quality - Triggered ability: This should say "leaves the stack". Activated ability reminder text: A couple of grammatical and spelling errors here.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Done.
(1/2) Subchallenges - Commits crimes, but is tricolor in identity terms.

Total: 19.75/25

Sagharri

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Design
(2/3) Appeal - Txmmy likes to hear "Devour artifact and/or creature". Jxnny sees this as perhaps overly blunt and simple. Spike can appreciate a legend that can grow and fire off some sacrifice removal, which is situationally powerful against stuff like indestructible and hexproof.
(3/3) Elegance - Hard to get more elegant than this.

Development
(2.5/3) Viability - Colors look right. Genuinely, though this feels considerably more like an uncommon legend than a rare one: It has a simple ETB ability, devour, and nothing beyond that. It even has a non-evergreen keyword, so it feels like a signpost card!
(3/3) Balance - No issues here - this looks like a card that would see more Limited play than Constructed.

Creativity
(1.5/3) Uniqueness - Definitely a mashup card combining several familiar effects. We've even seen devour variants multiple times now. Surprised to see there was never a devour card with an ETB ability quite like this one before - it's such an intuitive piece of design space!
(3/3) Flavor - Very to the point, with pithy flavor text. Name is a bit odd because it feels like a combination of Brimaz and Grist lol.

Polish
(3/3) Quality - Looks good.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Done.
(2/2) Subchallenges - And done.

Total: 22/25

Raptorchan

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Design
(2.5/3) Appeal - There's not a heck of a lot here for Txmmy but they might enjoy gaining huge amounts of life every turn off the activated ability. Jxnny is down to learn. Spike sees versatility and value here.
(2.5/3) Elegance - The one sort of inelegant thing here is how long the trigger condition on the triggered ability is.

Development
(3/3) Viability - Definitely black and rare, with the ability being green and feeling like black's intersection with green. Good!
(3/3) Balance - Repeatedly learning is powerful, but the once-per-turn limit, well, limits that power. The activated ability is properly costed.

Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness - Repeated learning is something that hasn't been seen before, caring about cards leaving graveyards is unusual (but not unprecedented), and even the activated ability has an effect that has only been done on Rotfeaster Maggot.
(3/3) Flavor - Great name, and definitely feels like Valentin - definitely a card with a strong Witherbloom theme.

Polish
(2.75/3) Quality - Very minor point - there shouldn't be a comma after "dies" in that triggered ability.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Done.
(2/2) Subchallenges - And done.

Total: 22.75/25

kwanyeegor-ii

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Design
(2/3) Appeal - Txmmy finds this overly fiddly but definitely likes mana in any combat for use on combat tricks and Angels/Demons. Jxnny is definitely about this. Spike also sees it as overly conditional in some ways but might be able to build around it because yes, that's a lot of potential mana.
(1/3) Elegance - That is a really complicated triggered ability to say the least. Removing creatures from combat has a few hidden complexities in itself. Even the typeline is rather long.

Development
(2.5/3) Viability - Rarity looks right. This card feels white for the most part but even though it makes black mana, it can generate mana for a life payment in monowhite, which is at least a pie bend.
(2.5/3) Balance - Three life a pop is steep and this card does have to be in combat in order to get this mana, but it could easily accelerate out big Angels and Demons. It's also incidentally really hard to kill in combat due to the triggered ability's other effect. Could use testing.

Creativity
(2.5/3) Uniqueness - No single effect here is unique, but the whole package is very new-feeling.
(2/3) Flavor - The inclusion of Angels in the effect is probably a nod to the WB color identity of this card, but it does make the "pact" part of the name and the Warlock type not fully match the rest of the flavor.

Polish
(3/3) Quality - Looks okay.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Done.
(2/2) Subchallenges - And done.

Total: 19.5/25

haywire

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Design
(3/3) Appeal - Txmmy would very much like to generate two lifelink tokens per turn and the other effects are icing on the cake. Jxnny sees this as a toolbox whose cost/"drawback" can actually be an advantage. Spike sees a lot of effects they want easy access to for a cheap cost.
(2.5/3) Elegance - Modal activated abilities can be a bit funny to actually read on a card, especially with a non-modal effect attached, but nothing too inelegant is going on here.

Development
(2/3) Viability - Colors look right, of course. But I'm firmly convinced this absolutely cannot be uncommon for all the reasons Deathrite Shaman has never been printed at uncommon. It has a tap ability with three effects, all of which are extremely powerful to have repeated access to, and it is only two mana and has enough toughness to survive a lot of cheap direct damage and -N/-N effects.
(1/3) Balance - As implied, I think this card is too efficient. Popping out two 1/1 lifelink tokens every turn can quickly get overwhelming with even a cheap anthem effect like Honor of the Pure, repeated artifact and enchantment removal is vital in most EDH playgroups, and of course I don't have to tell anyone that tapping to draw a card is strong. Causing the opponent to gain 3 life is really a pittance in comparison.

Creativity
(1.5/3) Uniqueness - Definitely a mash-up design; I can't really pick out one unique thing in particular here, but the whole package is new.
(2.5/3) Flavor - I absolutely get what you're going for with this name and card concept, and some bleed of real-world eponyms into Magic is just inevitable - yes the multiverse has plenty of "galvanic" stuff without having a Luigi Galvani. But this card name employs a misnomer - one that's in common usage, but still. The point of the New Testament parable of the Good Samaritan is that the passer-by would not be likely to help the robbed person because they're a Samaritan - an ethnoreligious group from ancient Judea that was related to, but at odds with, the Jewish community of that time. So someone who does a good deed for someone in need just because they are nearby can be called a "good Samaritan" by comparison with the story, but saying just "Samaritan" does not make much sense in context. This is sort of besides the point, but it did take me out of things a bit.

Polish
(2/3) Quality - Two tokens should be written with the number word "two" and not the numeral "2", and if flavor text is an unattributed quote (in this case the speaker is the person this card depicts) it still needs quotation marks.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Done.
(2/2) Subchallenges - And done.

Total: 18.5/25

AnotherAlias

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Design
(2.5/3) Appeal - Txmmy appreciates the mana accel but does not necessarily want to give up on lifegain in order to get it. Jxnny and Spike are all about this, however, as a cheap and possibly quite potent ramp card.
(2.5/3) Elegance - This is the kind of card that occasionally has odd corner case interactions, but for the most part it's easy to tell what it does.

Development
(3/3) Viability - Colors look okay and rarity is definitely appropriate for something of this kind of potential power.
(2/3) Balance - I'd test this pretty heavily because it's almost like a combination of Rowan, Scion of War and Will, Scion of Peace for less mana, obviously with the trade-off that something like Festival of Trokin becomes far less explosive.

Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness - As mentioned prior, this feels like a mashup of some specific past cards, but the drawback/trigger setup of losing life as soon as you gain it is unusual and the card in general is put together in a new way.
(2.5/3) Flavor - The flavor text does feel like the rambling mutterings of an evil cultist, but I think it rambles a bit too long, lol, so docking a little bit for that.

Polish
(3/3) Quality - Looks good.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Done.
(1/2) Subchallenges - Bicolor, but no crimes.

Total: 20.5/25

KB52665

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Design
(2/3) Appeal - Txmmy likes the idea of a saddle-able Tarmogoyf. Jxnny sees plenty to fiddle with here. Spike is less interested; there are more efficient ways to do multiplayer kingmaking/politicking and Tarmogoyfs to two players basically cancel each other out.
(0.5/3) Elegance - There is a heck of a lot going on here. Modified "card name" tokens - ones that actually don't even have that card's name - are something unprecedented and possibly more complex in back-end rules than one might think. And the bridle counter thing adds a LOT of complication - this looks like one of the most complex ETB abilities I've seen. This is all to say nothing of the permanently-goaded additional tokens.

Development
(3/3) Viability - Colors and rarity check out.
(3/3) Balance - Sure. This isn't going to completely take over Commander tables - it's more gimmicky than devastating, and of course creating tokens for your opponents can backfire.

Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness - We just had a couple of cards that make Tarmogoyf tokens in MH3 Commander, including Disa the Restless herself, so this card can't help but feel a bit derivative. Still, bridle counters are a new extension of the Mount design space and one has to at least appreciate the oddity of a Tarmogoyf token that's not named Tarmogoyf.
(1/3) Flavor - So there's technically extraneous text in this post, which can be a DQable offense, but what I'll instead do is treat the flavor text as part of the text card. In and of itself, it's fine - a bit cheesy as a pun, and I guess to make sense it would require Horst to have been a gift to Disa (from whom?), which certainly could be your intended backstory. However, it's definitely too long for the card's text box given the length of the rules and reminder text.

Polish
(3/3) Quality - Fine.
(1.5/2) Main Challenge (*) - This is a bit of a continuation from the Flavor judgment, but it fits better here: I can't say this card fits completely with the "Intended Flavor" section. For someone who lived through the Terisiare Ice Age to be alive during the Omenpath era, they would have to be at bare minimum 3,964 years old (if they were born the same year as the World Spell). Now, Disa is no mage, planeswalker, or long-lived humanoid, but an ordinary human, so the only other possibility is time travel, which also is a bit beyond the scope of the flavor.
(2/2) Subchallenges - Both done.

Total: 18/25

MonoRedMage

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Design
(3/3) Appeal - Txmmy is into the bunch of tokens and free direct damage. Jxnny has plenty to build around. This is just efficient enough for Spike's tastes and works nicely with the likes of Brass's Bounty.
(2/3) Elegance - Three different kinds of predefined tokens add a bit of tracking complexity, and overall this card is a bit wordy.

Development
(3/3) Viability - Mythic appears to be mostly for Limited purposes but I still think it's correct. Color and activated ability color both look right.
(2.5/3) Balance - That ETB ability is indeed amazingly powerful in conjunction with that other triggered ability, granting not only three useful predefined tokens but 3 spreadable damage, and furthermore the second triggered ability is really good with any number of different things: yes, other predefined token makers, but also Equipment and any artifact creatures. The self-bounce is expensive but in the late game it means this card can be used to push through stalemates.

Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness - Not breaking particularly new ground, but does care about something new (artifacts with subtypes) and puts together tokens that have never been united in that exact combination before.
(3/3) Flavor - The connection with Oggyar Battle-Seer is an interesting reference to Arcavios-outside-Strixhaven and overall this card has interesting worldbuilding attached to it.

Polish
(3/3) Quality - Looks good.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Done.
(2/2) Subchallenges - And done.

Total: 22.5/25

Totals (Bold advance)

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Raptorchan 22.75
MonoRedMage 22.5
Sagharri 22
AnotherAlias 20.5
Lorn Asbord Schutta 19.75
kwanyeegor-ii 19.5
haywire 18.5
KB52665 18